


peer over the edge (can you see me?)

by zhuzhting



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhuzhting/pseuds/zhuzhting
Summary: yanjun thought that all he wanted in life was to be able to do what he wanted without disappointing his parentsthe boy he keeps running into at the convenience store at 3 am changes thator, alternatively, yanjun is a model who decides to spend his winter break at his dad's place to find himself and zhengting is a dancer who no longer dances competitively. they meet somewhere in the middle.





	peer over the edge (can you see me?)

“Look, Yanjun, you haven’t booked a job in two months and your agency just dropped you, you might as well spend your winter break doing something other than moping around in your mother’s home.”

 _Ouch,_ Yanjun thinks. He would probably feel hurt by that but he was sure he had no feelings by now.

“Gee, dad.” He says drily, rolling his eyes all the way up to look at his ceiling before dropping back down to his open portfolio in front of him. His own face stares back at him with a smirk that was just borderline arrogant so that it screamed _I’m a model, I know I’m hot_ but not too much that he would look unapproachable. His voice is blank as he speaks into his phone. “You really know how to make my heart swell.”

There’s a sigh on the other end of the line, and it’s exasperated enough to let him know that his dad isn’t in the mood for sarcasm. “You know we just had the baby and Cao Lu is really struggling. I think having you here would really cheer her up.”

Cao Lu was nice, the kind of woman who laughed way too loudly and cared way too much about the difference between white and off white. The kind of woman his mom hated. Because while his mom was a strong willed no-nonsense type business woman, she saw Cao Lu as someone who was way too weak-willed.

 “Women like that,” she would say, turning her nose up snottily while gulping down too much wine than what was in her glass, “they marry a man and they just _settle_. You know who settles, Yanjun?” She would turn to him then, placing a hand on his shoulder as if assuring herself he was there. “Losers. Losers settle.”

It was a whirlwind romance, his dad had said. To Yanjun, it felt more like something to explain away why they got married and had a child after only knowing each other for less than a year.

Yanjun wasn’t exactly sure what to make of Cao Lu. Personally, he had quite liked her, in a she’s a pretty cool person way, not to mention she was only a decade older than him. She acted like a friend more than a stepmother. Yanjun often spoke to her on the phone upon her insistence, hearing about her days and nights, she was bubbly and loud, the type of person who had people turning their heads, either in awe or in annoyance.

She was also supportive of his career as a model, something his parents were not. She would gush over him, buying whatever magazine he appeared in, even if it was just on one page. It was very unnecessary, he would tell her, she really didn’t have to. But she would just laugh over the phone, light and tinkling like chimes in the wind. “Please, it just so happens that I needed more magazines for the café.” And Yanjun could practically see her waving her hand daintily, covering her mouth demurely with the other. He wondered how that worked, did patrons of her café just read fashion magazines? It seemed very Cao Lu to have that. “You know how women are, they like the eye candy.”

It was far more than anything his parents have ever done to support him. They had been against his choice since the very beginning, telling him that it “just wasn’t a viable career path.” His mom had laughed when he first brought it up with a business card clutched in his hand. (“You just have the face for it.” They had said, and Yanjun couldn’t believe it.) She had placed a hand on his head, and it felt like she had been petting a dog that did something particularly cute. “That’s great sweetie.” She had said before walking away, and that was the end of that. She had probably assumed that it was just a simple interest, like some toy a child would pick up and play with for a while, only to drop again.

She was loathe to see that it wasn’t just a joke to Yanjun.

“I’ll talk to mom about it.” Yanjun says, and his dad probably knows that was equivalent to him saying no.

His dad sighs again. “Just,” he says, and Yanjun can imagine him crinkling his nose in annoyance, “think about it. Okay?”

Yanjun hums in response but his thumb is already hovering over _end call_.

“Mom?” He calls out, making his way into their living room carefully, only to find the place empty.

He’s thought she would be around more, seeing as it had been months since they had last seen each other. Yanjun had arrived in the morning, just as soon as the semester break had started.

“You really must love your mom a lot huh?” Zhangjing, his roommate, had said as he watched him pack. “I’m not even going home until next week.”

Yanjun had just laughed.

This was how most nights went. His mom would be at dinner with fellow executives that cared too little about their families at home and more about the money they were making. They would talk about their achievements and the latest trends in the business world all while not so subtly getting drunk off their asses.

Yanjun used to accompany her in these dinners. Then, she would place a hand on his like a proud mother and talk about how absolutely great his grades were, not to mention his extracurricular performance.  But due to recent events, like him appearing on a 2 page spread, she had stopped extending the invitation to him.

Not that he cared.

Yanjun hauls himself out of the house and into his car, driving through the busy city streets and uncaring for where exactly he went. It wasn’t like he had anywhere in particular that he wanted to be, he just didn’t really want to be alone at home where the silence was just that much more deafening.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t like his parents-he loved them, even-it was just that they sometimes couldn’t be bothered with him. Every now and again they would throw him a bone and they just expected them to play fetch right away, like a good boy. Yanjun was tired of playing the good boy.

His nights spent on the streets of the city and not in his own home had started some time ago, before his parents had even divorced.

His mom had gotten promoted to chief executive, and his dad had lost all his funding for his latest machination. The fighting began not soon after that. He would hear them fighting and they often didn’t stop, even long into the night, yelling out their frustrations until their throats were sore. Every once in a while one of them will bring him up and it would be silent for a while, until gradually they would increase in volume once again.

So one night Yanjun had decided to just leave.

And he exited his room with pointedly loud noises, and practically slams the front door shut behind him.

The first time it had happened, his parents had yelled at him, worried sick about him running off into the streets. The second time it happened, they were too busy yelling at each other to even bother with him.

It wasn’t really long before they stopped caring.

Their divorce had come two years earlier. His mom had just looked at him with eyes that were much too cold as she said in a clipped tone, “Your father and I have decided to go our separate ways.”

Just like that. It was more like a transaction, fast and efficient, everything with his mother always was just that, a business deal.

Yanjun didn’t think he should’ve been as relieved as he was. Maybe some parents tried to hold it out, stay together for the children. But Yanjun was an only child and he was a never actually a child to his parents. They would smile fondly at him as he sat quietly in his seat while they ate with lawyers and business men and they would say, “Yanjun is mature, he’s practically an adult already.” And Yanjun would humor them by nodding along to their conversations, and only speaking when he was spoken to. Like a good boy.

Going to college was something that was expected of him, and when he had been accepted to one of the best schools in the country, with a major in business like his mom had wanted, his mom had just nodded at him. “As expected.” She said, and that was it.

Now, in his last year of university, his parents have been placing more pressure in him to quit modelling, to take a more stable career path.

He thinks that disappointing his parents was something that was way too easy to do. Especially since they were never impressed.

When he gets back home, he toes off him shoes and locks the door behind him with a silent _click_.

He spots him mom passed out on the couch, still in her office attire and make up still on. Her face was spread out around her like a curtain and her breaths coming out in short spurts. Yanjun unfolds a blanket and places it over her body carefully, lifting her head to put a pillow underneath it.

He sets a glass of water and an aspirin on the table next to the couch and leaves to him room.

He makes up his mind to call his dad the next morning.

\---

“Are you sure you want to spend your break with _them_?” Yanjun’s mom says with clear disgust on the last word. She was seated on the dining table, cup of coffee in hand. She looked nothing like she did last night, and Yanjun wonders if she even gets hangovers.

Yanjun pours himself a mug of coffee, pouring sugar into it just to see his mom’s eyes narrow in judgement. “Cao Lu just gave birth. I think it’ll be nice to see my sister.” He shrugs. “Besides, I think she needs help, with the baby and all.”

“Of course she does.” His mother says and she crumples her face like she’d eaten something particularly sour. “She’s with your father, she needs all the help she can get.”

She then glances at him once and gets a look in her eyes like she was reliving a war. “God knows he barely helped me with you.”

Yanjun places a hand over his heart. “That makes me feel so loved.”

His mom rolls her eyes and sets the cup down. “Are you sure you don’t want to spend Christmas here?”

Yanjun thinks about all the people who would be in their home, drinking and talking about things that were much too pretentious for him and he shakes his head. “I’ll survive a month with them.”

His mom gets up from her seat. “When will you be leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning maybe,” he muses, as he watches her place her cup in the sink and fix the collar of her perfectly pressed shirt with her manicured hands. “Are you going to work today?”

It’s a stupid question to ask, especially seeing her already in her office attire, and she gives him a look for it. “Of course I’m going to work, honey. The office can’t function without me.”

“I’ll see you later tonight, okay?” She says, and she presses a kiss to his cheek before leaving him again.

Yanjun sighs as the door shuts behind her.

\---

The place Cao Lu and his dad lived was pretty humble in comparison to his mom’s home in the city. It boasted a small patio, and a quaint little garden, complete with a white fence that wasn’t really much for keeping anyone out.

He had arrived in the small town that his dad now lived in pretty late in the afternoon, nearing 6 pm. It was one of those places where there weren’t really many places to go to, the streets littered with family-owned places and the snow only thinly carpeting the sidewalks.

His steps are hesitant as he walked up to the house with his luggage in tow. The air outside was bitterly cold, but crisper somehow, fresher, blowing away any drowsiness he could’ve had from the trip.

The white of the house decorated by the snow made the place seem so very perfect, Yanjun felt almost out of place with his dark clothes. His dad seemed to have made something good for himself here, and Yanjun wonders why he would possibly want him here. It was a peaceful sight, he thinks, that is if not for the loud screaming that he could hear coming from inside.

“Hello?” He calls out hesitantly, pretty sure he can’t be heard over the noise. He enters the home anyways, and is greeted immediately by the source of the screaming.

Cao Lu is walking around the house, her hair up in a messy bun and looking a lot worse from when he had last seen her. In her arms is what Yanjun assumes is his sister, her little face scrunched up and her small mouth letting out cries that were much bigger than her body.

Ci Hui is someone that he had only seen in the badly taken photos his dad had sent him a month ago, when she was first born. She wasn’t someone Yanjun cared particularly about, seeing as the chances of them being involved in each other’s lives were relatively low. Seeing Cao Lu now though, struggling to stop Ci Hui from crying, Yanjun thinks that he was probably going to hear a lot from Ci Hui in this month.

Yanjun contemplates walking back out the door but Cao Lu suddenly looks up and spots him.

“Oh, Yanjun, I’m so sorry.” She says and suddenly she looks like she’s about to burst into tears and Yanjun isn’t emotionally capable of dealing with that. “I forgot you were coming over today and Ci Hui has been crying for so long, I just-”

Yanjun looks around the house, notes the mess. The clothes strewn over the floor and the mess of things on the table and he clears his throat awkwardly. “Do you need any help?”

“I’m okay.” Cao Lu says, but she looks anything but. “Your dad is in his office. You can just head there. It’s the first door you see up the stairs.”

Yanjun knew an out when he saw one and he was thankful to take it.

His dad was a self-proclaimed inventor, sure that he was going to change the world one day with one of his creations. His mom insisted otherwise. “That fool is a hoarder,” she would say. “It was fun and quirky in college, not so much when you have a child to take care of and nothing to show for.”

True to his mom’s words, his dad’s office looked more like a hoarder’s nest than an actual office. Parts and tools were thrown about and his dad was in the middle of it all looking like a mess and bent over something.

“Dad?”

“Yanjun, hey!” His dad said, looking up and eyes wide in the way that made him look kind of mad, his mom would agree. He walks over to Yanjun, pushing past all the clutter and wiping his hands against his pants before reaching over to embrace him. “How was your trip?”

“Good.” Yanjun says. “I was able to beat traffic going out of the city.”

Yanjun looks around again, noting all the blueprints and crumpled bits of paper and he says tentatively. “So, you’re still working, huh?”

“You know how it is,” his dad says and Yanjun wants to say that no, he really doesn’t know, “I really think I’m close to hitting my next big break soon.”

Yanjun doesn’t mention that his dad has been saying that ever since he was a baby. Instead he says, “So Cao Lu seems like she’s taking to motherhood well.”

“Isn’t she?” His dad says and Yanjun wonders if he’s dense or apathetic. “The baby has been driving me mad, it cries all day and night. She has quite a pair of lungs on her, she might be a singer.”

Yanjun scoffs, thinking about Cao Lu who looks like she’s about to break down outside. “Don’t you think you should, you know? Get her help with the baby?”

“She’s fine.” His dad says. “She says she wants to be a hands-on mother, be there every step of the way.”

“Right.”

“So how’s university?” His dad says, and he starts leading Yanjun out of his office. Suddenly the sound of Ci Hui’s crying is louder than ever.

“It’s good.” Yanjun shrugs, trying not to glance at Cao Lu who was bouncing the baby up and down rhythmically. “The usual.”

“That’s nice.” His dad says and Yanjun already knows that the conversation wasn’t really going to go anywhere. His dad’s attention was already back to his office, eyes looking past Yanjun. Then he says, “I should show you to your room, let you get some rest. Let’s have dinner together later, okay?”

“Sure.” Yanjun nods and he follows his dad to the room on the other end of the hall.

“It’s probably smaller than your room in the city,” his dad says as he pushes the door open, “but it’s cozy.”

Cozy was a word for what it was. With a bed and barely any room for the desk and closet in the corner, the room was rather small but Yanjun quite liked it already. The view out the window left nothing to be desired too, showcasing the pretty snow landscape. Yanjun was more than satisfied with it.

“I’ll leave you here to get some rest.” His dad says then, already leaving.

Quietly, he takes his luggage from downstairs, although he doubts Cao Lu heard him anyways over the loud cries.

Yanjun lets out a breath he doesn’t even know he’s holding when his dad leaves the room. He thinks about Cao Lu who was still struggling with the Ci Hui downstairs and his dad who was holed up in his study.

He decides that he doesn’t want to think about it and falls asleep instead.

When he wakes, his phone tells him that it’s 10:36 in the evening and that he had slept longer than he had expected. He ends up going downstairs with careful steps.

Cao Lu is seated on one of the chairs, Ci Hui in her arms. She opens her eyes to the sound, looking up at his with bleary eyes almost immediately.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Yanjun says, hushed. “It’s late, do you want dinner?”

Suddenly, Cao Lu is alert clumsily grasping for her phone with one hand before cursing under her breath. “Oh my god, it’s so late.” She says and Yanjun thinks that maybe she’s going to start crying now that the baby had stopped. “The café, they must be waiting for me to come in-shit.”

“Um,” Yanjun says. “I can help?”

“Oh, I don’t want to ask you to. You’re supposed to be on vacation.” Cao Lu bites her lip, and Yanjun knows that she’s going to give in and ask anyways.

Yanjun prods forward. “I don’t mind.”

Cao Lu sighs. “I’ll just need you to get the keys from the boys and the records for today.” She says. “The boys already know what to do.”

“The boys?”

“Just ask for Wenjun and tell him that I sent you. They should handle everything. The café is just nearby, just follow the path and you should see it.” Ci Hui makes a noise and for a second, panic fills her eyes, but it quickly settles down again when all the baby does is sniffle a little. “Thank you so much for doing this for me, Yanjun.”

“Okay.” Yanjun smiles, trying to be consoling. “It’s no problem.”

“Bye.” Cao Lu says quietly, but by then he was already at the door and shrugging his coat on.

He had heard of the café many times from Cao Lu in her occasional phone calls. She used to ramble on and on about it and her employees, so much so that Yanjun was familiar with their names by now. From what he gathered, they were mostly local high school and college kids who wanted to have a bit more money on the side.

He sees the storefront faster than he expected. _The Thought Collective_ , it said in blocky print. Yanjun was a bit surprised to see that it was a lot more sophisticated than he pictured. Brightly lit, and rather spacious, it was similar to those cafés he would see littered around near his university. He could also see that they were about to close up already with the chairs on top of tables and someone mopping the floor, he almost hesitated going in.

It seemed he didn’t even have to as one of the boys inside who was previously wiping down one of the tables suddenly opens the door with a loud _whoosh_. “If you come in ten minutes before we close to order something I swear to god I will gouge your eyes out in the most customer friendly way possible.”

“Um, Cao Lu told me to get the keys and the records for today.” Yanjun says, unsure if he should be afraid with the intensity the boy was using to glare at him. “I’d like to keep my eyes intact.”

“Oh.” The boy says, dropping his glare and smiling instead. He reaches out and takes Yanjun’s hand, shaking it vigorously. “Well in that case, I’m Zeren.”

“Yanjun. Cao Lu’s stepson.” Yanjun wonders if everyone in this town was just naturally outgoing.

“Come in, it must be freezing.” Zeren says, pushing him into the warmth of the café before closing the door behind them. “Guys, this is him. The son.”

“O.M.G.” One of them says, exaggeratingly fanning himself. “We finally meet the prodigal son.”

Yanjun briefly wonders what Cao Lu has been saying about him and if he should be worried.

“You’re using that wrong, moron.” Another one says, hitting the former on the head with a rag. “I’m Chengcheng.”

“Justin.” The other says with a grin that’s just a touch too sly for Yanjun’s comfort.

“Cao Lu told me to ask for Wenjun?”

“That’d be me.” A taller boy says, popping his head out of what Yanjun thinks is probably the kitchen. “We’re just cleaning up. We’ll lock up in a bit. I hope you don’t mind waiting?”

Yanjun shakes his head.

“Well then,” Justin says, grabbing his arm without restraint. “You should tell me all about the city.”

Everyone else just rolls their eyes, as if they were used to Justin just skirting his duties.

“So what do you do? Are you in university?”

“I’m a business major.”

“Wow, that’s so cool. Our friend Yanchen is also a business major and he’s like really smart, he knows all about the economy and stuff.”

“The economy and stuff.” Yanjun repeats, amused.

Justin nods enthusiastically, already animatedly gesturing with his hands. “Wenjun’s taking up Math because he’s a nerd and that’s what nerds do.” From the back, Yanjun can hear Wenjun make an affronted noise. “Zeren’s taking up Physical Therapy because…”

Justin pauses here nose scrunching a little as a complicated look enters his face. “…he wants to help people.” He says finally. “Anyways, Chengcheng and I are still in high school. Quanzhe too, but he’s not here today. High school is so boring, I can’t wait to go to college.”

Yanjun quickly learns that Justin talks a lot, asking questions and adding long-winded anecdotes after every answer Yanjun gives him, giving out more information than what was really necessary.

“Alright Justin, you can stop bothering him now.” Wenjun interrupts, hushing Justin’s blabbering. “We’re closing up.”

When they’re standing outside the café, Zeren turns to him. “You should hang out with us sometime.”

“Yeah!” Justin exclaims, practically interrupting him midsentence. “We’re always here anyways and sometimes business is really slow. Having you around would make stuff less boring.”

Yanjun wants to argue, wants to say that he isn’t really the best person for relieving boredom, but he says instead. “Yeah, sure, not like there’s a lot of stuff to do at home anyways.”

Justin whoops and Yanjun doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone so excited at the prospect of spending time with him before. He can’t help but feel a bit of Justin’s enthusiasm, as contagious as it was with how widely the boy was smiling at him.

“Here.” Wenjun hands him the keys and a folder. He pulls out a paper bag, holding it out to him also. “You should take this, I’m sure Cao Lu hasn’t eaten yet. There’s enough there for all four of you.”

Yanjun suddenly remembers how hungry he is and he smiles a little sheepishly, grateful. “Thanks so much.”

“We’ll head off now.” Wenjun says, waving at him and already starting to walk away. “We’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Yanjun says, “see you.” And he watches then walk away into the distance, loud and energetic, laughing around jovially as if they hadn’t just gotten off from a whole day’s worth of work.

The walk back to the house is faster than his initial journey. He vaguely wonders how Cao Lu was doing, if the baby was crying. If Wenjun was right, that meant that Cao Lu hadn’t eaten since Yanjun had arrived, Yanjun didn’t even want to think about what that meant for her health as a new mother.

When he enters the house Cao Lu is sitting on one of the seats by the dining table. There was no baby in sight and Yanjun just figured that she was probably asleep in her room. Cao Lu is staring at the wooden surface of the table, eyes looking so very tired, her hair was a mess and she looks like she has been crying herself.

“I brought your stuff.” He says softly, and Cao Lu glances at him with a hazy gaze that slowly clears up. “I also brought dinner, Wenjun gave it to me.”

This seems to snap Cao Lu out of whatever trance she was in and she blinks up at him once and shakes her head. “Thank you, Yanjun. You probably haven’t eaten yet.”

“I could say the same for you.”

“I’m fine.” Cao Lu gives him a poor excuse of a smile that Yanjun is sure wouldn’t even convince the baby. “We should eat.”

“What about dad?” He asks, glancing up once at the door by the top of the stairs. “Has he come out yet?”

“Your dad doesn’t like to be disturbed when he’s busy working.” Cao Lu says and Yanjun’s not dense enough to miss the distaste in her tone. “I’ll just leave some food out for him. He’ll come down when he’s done.”

Yanjun acquiesces, albeit reluctantly, it wasn’t really in his place to say what his dad should or shouldn’t do. He remembers his parents arguing about that once, behind closed doors that were probably thinner than they thought.

“You never spend time with us!” His mother had yelled, sounding shriller than Yanjun has ever heard her. “You always sit here with your useless toys, trying to make something that you don’t even have the full grasp of.”

His dad had yelled back, but it was his mom that won in the end. She always won their arguments, and his dad never missed another meal with them again. At least, before his parents split up.

Dinner with Cao Lu is spent in relative silence. Yanjun figures that she’s too tired to make any small talk and she plays with the pasta with her fork more than she actually eats it.

There were a lot of differences between Cao Lu and his mother. They were as different as day and night, and yet, Yanjun realizes, this was always the same. The way that she exhales, breath pushed past her teeth through her lips like she was letting go of all her frustrations instead of keeping it in. It was a sight Yanjun was all too used to, and yet he was sure that his dad never saw it.

Still, he keeps his silence. Nothing he knew was certain about the relationship about his dad and Cao Lu, assuming would only be overstepping.

So they eat in silence, and when Cao Lu gets up to go to what he assumes is their bedroom, he just tells her a quiet “good night” and proceeds to keep her barely eaten food in the fridge.

It’s not something that he thinks he should get involved in but he thinks that maybe his dad hadn’t changed at all.

So he sets forth out of the house.

There weren’t really a lot of places to go to in such a small town, most places were closed and the streets were pretty dim if not for the streetlights. It was a dizzying contrast to the lights and color of the city and Yanjun found that driving through it was a lot more calming, albeit a little boring.

There was, however, an open convenience store, alit with bright white fluorescent lights, it stood out like a beacon. Yanjun found himself there even after doing several rounds around the town.

Outside, it read _24/7 Convenience_ , a sign below it reading _Life is here…_ in cursive font. It was small, he noted, lined with the bare minimum to be called a convenience store, but it was enough.

There’s no one there except the boy manning the cash register, eyes glued to his phone. He doesn’t even look up once, even as the bell by the door chimes to announce his entrance. Yanjun ends up surveying the shelves, circling the store a few times. He opts for a can of coffee and a bag of chips, setting it down in from of the employee who just raises a brow in question before ringing him up.

“Late night, huh?”

Yanjun scoffs. “Aren’t they all?”

“Tell me about it.”

The bell chimes again and Yanjun can’t help from glancing at the newest member of their little late night club. The boy was dressed in a sweater and sweats and Yanjun wondered how he even survived the cold outside without a coat. His ears and nose were flushed and he greeted the boy at the counter with a wave.

Yanjun pays for his stuff before leaving, sparing one last glance at the other boy who seemed to be scanning the assortment of candy bars.

He sits on the bench outside, eating in silence. He wonders if Ci Hui wakes up at hours like this, becomes the alarm that Cao Lu can only pray she can put on snooze. He wonders if his dad ever wakes up, tells Cao Lu to go back to bed, that he’ll deal with it. He recalls the image of Cao Lu on the verge of tears while his dad nonchalantly pulls him aside, to somewhere more quiet, and he thinks that he probably doesn’t.

He thinks about his mother, what she would say if she saw this now. Probably something along the lines of, “assuming the worst in some people will only save you from being disappointed by them.” All while gulping down her glass of expensive wine.

He sits there, in the cold of the winter and just allows himself to breathe in the crisp air. The boy comes out later, joins him on the other side of the bench and Yanjun turns to look at him, studying his profile. He has a chocolate bar between his lips, using his teeth to rip open the plastic before taking a bite.

His dark brown hair is pulled back from his face with a headband and he smiles after the first bite, soft and gentle, like it was something special.

Yanjun looks away before he could be deemed creepy. “It’s quiet.” He says before he can think about it.

The boy chews slowly, and swallows before answering with a snort. “It’s deafening.”

Yanjun isn’t quite sure how to respond to that, but he still says, “it’s never this quiet in the city.”

“Must be nice.” The boy says, getting up suddenly.

He meets Yanjun’s eyes and the intensity of his stare makes Yanjun stare back dumbly. His face breaks out into a smile, however, and Yanjun suddenly finds himself entranced. “I’ll see you around.” He says, waving once, before walking away.

It doesn’t occur to Yanjun that he doesn’t even know his name until the boy is gone in the distance.

He gets back to the house before twilight even sets in and it’s silent so he assumes that Ci Hui was pacified that night. He notes that the meal he had left out on the table for his dad was gone and he wonders when his dad had decided that he was done for the day. Yanjun gets to bed and he sleeps with thoughts of chocolate bars and silences.

\---

When he wakes, it’s to the sound of a crash from downstairs. He takes a few seconds to blink the sleep from his eyes before going down to see Cao Lu frantically pick up pieces of broken glass from the floor.

“Oh, Yanjun.” She says, not stopping her movements. “There’s breakfast on the counter, you can just eat that. I have to go to work and open up the café. I’m already running a little late-”

As if feeling her mom’s panicked state, Ci Hui starts wailing, her cries echoing from all the way up in her nursery. Cao Lu curses, throwing the glass shards into the trash and washing her hands. Her eyes look so, very tired and Yanjun can’t help but think that she probably had gotten zero sleep.

“I’ll do it.” He says abruptly, grabbing the keys from the counter. “You should go sleep. I’ll take care of Ci Hui and open the café.”

Cao Lu opens her mouth but Yanjun is already guiding her back up the stairs. “Do you have a bottle?”

“She has a bottle in the fridge,” Cao Lu says. “But-I can’t-”

“Yes you can.” Yanjun interrupts. “You’re wearing yourself out. I’ll take care of it, I think I can handle her for the day.”

He pushes Cao Lu into the room and heads to Ci Hui who’s still wailing.

“Hey baby girl,” He smiles, watching her red face scrunch up, her fists moving angrily. “I guess we’re stuck with each other today, huh?”

**Author's Note:**

> so this fic is very loosely based on sarah dessen's "along for the ride" (mostly because i really liked the idea of yanjun taking care of a baby) the title is from "tip of the iceberg" by owl city.
> 
> updates may be kinda sporadic because of school but i hope you guys enjoy
> 
> come yell at me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/zhuzhting)


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